so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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