is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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