Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
