whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
