if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
