Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize