remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
