and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
He is an equal opportunity slut.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
