Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize