All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
