Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
