im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
