I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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