You just made me feel so damn special
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize