...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
