i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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