That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just puked most of my soul out..
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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