She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
barbara walters just said penis...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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