he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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