Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
