Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
