shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Success! We fucked roommates!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
