Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
