I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
