garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm really busy with my period
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