I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize