If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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