lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
