but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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