Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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