im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Randomize
