Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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