at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
