Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
