What did we do last night that was yellow?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
