I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
