my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
