but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
