Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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