I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
