she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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