she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My breasts were aching with rage.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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