He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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