Walk of Shame. In a state park.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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