don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
