I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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