Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize