Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
But theres a keg here and me gusta
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
