Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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