I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
