i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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