she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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