I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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