he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
