apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
