I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
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