The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
