His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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