Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
