Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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