i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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