Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
